Smoky First Kiss
by beard lust
Summary: The last time Merle makes Daryl cry she's only eleven it's been twenty-seven years since then and Merle still has a hold over her.


**Title: **Smoky First Kiss

**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Daryl Dixon, Merle Dixon, Daryl/Merle

**Rating **(_Warnings_)**:** PG-13 (language, incest)

**Synopsis:** First installment of Thanks For The Memories in which Daryl gets her first kiss and Merle is still an ass.

**Summary **(_Quote_)**: **The last time Merle makes Daryl cry she's only eleven it's been twenty-seven years since than and Merle still has a hold over her. (_You think maybe you should kiss back and you want too because Merle tastes like cigarettes and you think that you shouldn't like that as much as you do but you can't help it. _)

**...**

_The panic induced bile rises in the back of your throat but you manage to keep it down. You can't say much for the rears though, they slip down your cheeks as you scream _'No!'_ because this just could not be happening you refused to accept it. You're thirty eight now and this is the first time Merle makes you cry in about twenty-seven years._

You're eleven and you have to suffer through Marcy Davis as she brags about her first kiss. You don't like Marcy she's a nasty girl who never seems to have anything nice to say about anyone except herself. Which you think is just stupid because Marcy is dumb as bricks and ugly too, you don't understand why she thinks so highly of herself you just know you want her to shut up already. So you tell her you could kiss a dozen boys if you wanted too. And you totally could you weren't afraid of any boy, in fact a lot of them were afraid of you.

She sneers at you and says it doesn't mean anything unless its from a boy you _like_. And you frown because you don't like any boys. They're all stupid immature pussies, you could kick their asses any day. Weak, pathetic, not like your brother. How could you like any of the boys your age when you know what a real man is like? It doesn't seem fair really because boys were stupid and Merle was, an ass, but still better than all of them any day.

That night long after Merle falls asleep you sneak in his room. You're going to get your first kiss and shut stupid Marcy Davis up. But you have to be quiet because if Merle catches you in here again he'll give you another black eye. You move slowly quietly careful not to make a sound, like Merle shows you when he teaches you how to hunt, so when you finally reach the bed Merle hasn't even twitched in his sleep. You lick your lips nervously as you lean forward trying very hard not to run away, because you weren't a pussy.

Just before you close your eyes and press your lips against his, you see Merle's eyes snap open. You don't even have time to gasp before Merle flips you over onto your back and sneers down at you. He holds your arms tight at your side, so tight it hurts and you know there will be bruises there in the morning. You thrash and squirm underneath him desperate to get out of his hold, and even though you know you won't be able to because Merle is bigger and stronger than you, you can't help it.

"The hell are you doing in here?" Merle asks and you don't answer you just keep thrashing because you want him to let go now. "Quit squirming." he growls at you and you stop thrashing but can't stop the squirming. "The fuck do you want?" Merle asks again and you whine instead of giving him an answer. The grip he has on your wrists tightens and you whine again louder this time. "I ain't gonna ask again." Merle growls and you gnash your teeth at him, his grip tightens even more and you really didn't think that was possible.

"Marcy Davis just got her first kiss and now she won't shut up!" You say finally and Merle's grip loosens not enough for you to slip through but its not nearly as painful now.

"What?" Merle asks and you can tell he's confused and you really don't want to explain it to him but he starts tightening his hands again when you stay quiet for too long.

"So I told her that I could kiss any guy I wanted an' she said it don't mean shit 'less its from a guy you _like_." you can't look more in the eye anymore and the flush on your cheeks isn't entirely from struggling to get out of his grip.

"So what, you sayin' you like me or sumthin'?" Merle asks after a long moment and you can tell he's making fun of you.

"No!" you automatically deny and it's true you _don't_ like Merle except for the times when you really do. Because Merle isn't all bad he teaches you how to hunt, he taught you how to fight, he shows you how to use the crossbow sometimes when he's feeling particularly generous, and Merle looks out for you. So yeah sometimes you do like him, a little but. Just not right now because right now he's being an ass hole.

"Yer face is all red." Merle points out mocking you and you glare up at him.

"Yer an ass!" you tell at him and Merle laughs at you.

You're getting ready to say something else but you can't anymore because Merle leans forward and presses his lips against yours. You know it probably didn't last more than a few seconds but somehow it feels like hours. Merle's lips are warm and softer than you thought they would be, still rough just softer than you figured. You think maybe you should kiss back and you want too because Merle tastes like cigarettes and you think that you shouldn't like that as much as you do but you can't help it. He pulls away before you even get a chance to kiss back, and you just stare up at him in awe because you really can't think of anything else to do.

"There now get out." Merle says letting you go and you don't need to be told twice. You're running form the room because Merle just kissed you and it's as exciting as it is scary. And you think that this might be the best thing ever. That is until about a week later when you're walking home from school and you catch Merle kissing some skank up against the side of the corner store. There are tears in your eyes than but you refuse to let them fall until you're in the safety of your room and under your covers. Merle is an ass and you kind of wish your first kiss wasn't with him, only that's not completely true. Because you _like_ Merle and you _wanted_ your first kiss to be with him even if he was a giant flaming ass.

…

_This is an expansion on the premise of Daryl growing up a girl. The idea still intrigues me and I love it so now I decided to write something with more plot, and more Merle. I actually really liked Merle and hope they expand more on what happened to him. This mini-series only has about three or four parts left all dealing with Daryl and Merle's relationship. I'm unclear on what the porn to plot ratio will be but I can tell you this there is a lot of porn but it does not take away from the plot, actually all the sex in here is plot necessary. I suppose I could have just done the whole fade to black thing but I do enjoy writing sex. Well I hope to have the next part out asap feed back would be wonderful._

_Farewell and thanks for listening to me ramble!_

_Beard Lust_


End file.
